In 2008

2008 was not a very good year for me. I don’t want to say it was bad because I know that I still have so much in spite of the challenges I encountered during the second half of the year. So, not very good na lang. :-)

The following list of lessons/ realizations is in no particular order. Some of the items, alam ko naman yan e. But last year gave me solid experiences to back up these more.

You’ll know who your real friends are when times are tough. As I mentioned in a previous blog entry, you’ll know what kind of friendship who have with all those people you call friends. There are some that are like family to you. Meron naman pang good times lang pala. Hindi lahat ng alam mong “close” sa iyo eh talagang close friend mo. It was sad to realize that with some people but well, they’re still friends so I am still thankful for them. On the other hand naman, there are some who surprised me with their genuine concern even if I have known them for a few months only. :-)

Prayer helps…big time! I don’t think I would have survived 2008 if prayer was not present in my life. It was not really my own prayers but the prayers of other people. I know that a lot of people prayed for me, my mom and our family and I believe with all my heart that those prayers were the ones that helped (still helping!) us through the hard times.

Miracles do happen. Because of our dear Lord and prayers. I remember the 2^nd day of my mom in the ICU. In the morning, the doctors said Ma was not doing good because of her kidney failure in addition to her respiratory failure. My Dad, an uncle and some of Ma’s friends were crying already because it didn’t really look good. I texted a few of my closest friends from SFC since I knew that they would help me pray. Guess what. When they visited in the afternoon of the same day, Ma was smiling and writing down (she had tubes) her thanks to the people who visited her. THE LORD is TRULY GREAT!

Our parents will not be around forever. I know we’re all going to die but I guess I just really didn’t think about my parents being gone. I’m not ready for that. :-( But having to deal with cancer and the reality of death, I realized that time is really precious and should be spent with the people we really love and who love us the most.

Moms are really special people. Moms are superwomen. They are great at multitasking! ;-) Even when my mom was in the ICU, she would write down all her reminders. A nurse had to take away her pen and paper so she would be forced to sleep!

Time is important and so is timing. I believe in taking my time in doing and feeling some things. If I get mad, you can’t force me to confront the issue. The more that I feel the pressure of settling things, the more that I get mad or pull away. When something bad happens to me, I can’t just immediately say that life goes on. I need time to feel sad or depressed or even angry. Time also heals. And a key to making up, saying sorry and asking for forgiveness is timing. Kumbaga, there's a right time for everything. ;-)

You can’t hurry love…or push for it to happen. Ummm...pwede no comment?! ;-) Hehehehe... Sometimes even when a person seems perfect for you, “things” can’t still happen. Mabait, masipag, matino, maayos na tao, gusto ng friends ko pero wala pa rin! Why? Because there’s something missing. I’m the kind of person pa naman who believes in sparks and magic. ;-) I don’t think I had that last year. What’s funny is sometimes naman puro sparks lang kaya tuloy napapaso ako :-P

Mahirap magkasakit! Even if you’ve prepared, minsan kulang pa yung nahanda mo. Aside from the financial concerns, it’s hard to always feel worried about a loved one. Parang roller coaster ride ang emotions. Sometimes you feel happy when things seem to be going ok then when you see your loved one na not feeling well, you feel down. :-(

It’s so important to save up for the future and rainy days. I believe in enjoying life but this, too, should be done in moderation. We should start thinking about and preparing for our future early in life. Kasi mahirap na when something happens and wala ka madukot. Even though the future is uncertain, we should still prepare as much as we can.

Our families and relatives are our real treasures. Thank God for my Dad, brothers, aunts, uncles and cousins! ;-)

What’s best for many may not be what’s best for me. I ask and listen to people when I have important decisions to make but in the end, I still follow what I think and feel is what’s best for me. It’s sad to feel that you are being compared to others or to feel less of a person because you are on a different road that most people. However, I believe that we are still different from each other no matter how similar we may seem and that we have our own distinct and individual paths to follow.

There are some dreams that you have to let go. I decided last year that I wanted to try finding work overseas again. I know that I’ve said before that I don’t want go away again but times have changed and so are my priorities. I actively took care of my requirements for the 1^st part of my Australian visa application, which got approved by the way. Unfortunately, because of more important matters, I had to forgo (maybe for now only) the processing of the 2^nd part. I was also set to leave for Dubai last September. Hmmm...maybe the Lord doesn’t want me to leave. Well, everything happens for a reason.

People change. Things change. The only thing constant in life is change.

Life happens! Whatever happens or whatever it is that you want to do, life goes on. Sometimes you may feel like just wanting to stay in bed, stay asleep or become an anti-social person forever. But at some point, you would have to get up. You cannot just wish for the bad things to go away first before you more forward because life will not wait for you. Life is both good and bad and we just have to learn how to live through those two things.

I am looking forward to 2009. New year, new life, new things, new people.